“The years pass by so quickly. One thing I’ve understood. I’m only learning to tell a tree from wood.” -John Lennon.  I know. Mind Games. 1973.

The alarm clock is going off every 10 minutes now.  That waking from working dreams of effort and change are now going by like telephone poles on the open road. My twilight struggles overnight are torn away from me and rendered useless as the real struggles become exposed in the light. I land on the ground. Pain check: 18 years – check. In the next 30 minutes, I sweep up the shattered pieces of what makes me a person who can make it to the other side of the day and with coffee, love and rage, I put them all together, the day begins.

Big day coming. When I think of all of the good and bad that can funnel into a single 15 minutes, it is remarkable. Why should I be surprised? I have changed the course of my life in a split second so many times before. The next morning, I awoke in a different life each time. Today, the changes are the result of lessons learned. I am more concise. Looks like indifference, rudeness, disinterest, but it is only the desire to speak worthwhile words, listen to worthwhile speech, take fruitful steps.

As I glean the pluses and minuses of the lessons learned, I look for abstract solutions to the journey that is today. Sometimes I create an orchestra of harmonics around the task, other times, I rush in, guns blazing. Yes, there is a big day coming. I hope as I collectively grip all that I am in the midst of the mess that I am made of, I have learned something.