In 1993, John Mellencamp wrote Case 795 (The Family). True to John’s grassroots revolution he said the words that were too brutal to voice out loud:
How many days does it take to make us weak?
And how many hours do people spend lonely?
In the heart of the heart the family lay dying
The ruin of a nation lies at our feet, yeah
I agree with the statement that there seems to be a movement to destroy the concept of family in today’s society. In the middle of the song, John hints that the man’s terrible actions were the result of his childhood experiences, perhaps during a time when things were supposed to be better. It’s a sad truth.
Back in 76, I recall a friend of mine telling me that his father would wake up early in the morning and being dressed in nothing except steel-toed work boots would kick the crap out of him for no reason. The rest of the family would lie in their beds clearly letting it happen because intervention meant a much worse fate.
My parents separated on and off for two years until finally divorcing when I was 10. They were young, but they loved us. My sisters and I did not live in a model family structure, but because of the good people and love around us, we did not know the meaning of the word dysfunctional.
I don’t know how to explain what came in later decades. My boys were born in the time when I was 38 to 40 years old. When I see what some of their generation deals with for parents I am shocked. What happened? They are so abandoned. For the most part, it seems to be the generation after us that really made a mess, and by extension, we had some sort of part in that. Here is the thing though, I cannot for the life of me tell you what that is!
I do not know how a parent can look at their own child and not feel anything but love, admiration, respect, and self-sacrifice. I may be somewhat over-reflective, in my choreographing the moves of the contingency of hand-to-hand survival in a world full of flaming arrows streaming over the wall of the facade of our delusional safe haven.
Those who lack the instinctive forcefield of parental stamina have in common a self-serving desire for nothing more than the next social event designed to entertain them. It is vanity, it is a lack of imagination. The need to be plugged in and entertained. It began with television and grew from there.
We grew an army of careless self-indulgent parental units whose mission statement is nothing more than, “What’s in it for me?” Tragedy unfolds within the walls of where they live. So many people, together, living alone. All of this written here today, I STILL CANNOT UNDERSTAND IT!
Yeah, I know. I have been stuck in this Generational Contrast Theme Park lately. Because of that, I have to say, that all of our generations have their failures. They also have their treasure. Those loving parents who are advocates, cheerleaders, mentors, admirers, and allies of their offspring. What decade you were born does not matter. What your home was like also does not need to matter. You make your choices. There are those of you, I am honored to know. You stand firm and never give up. Meiyo.